Emo is not an adjective

It's really disturbing what we have done with music recently. I don't mean The Backstreet Boys and Dashboard Confessionals trying to pawn themselves off as music, because it's already understood that they are worthless people who deserve terrible things that this life can't even offer them. I mean the classification system we have developed which rivals that of taxonomy in level of complexity. I think I can declare the human race insane when there are, literally, at least twenty different sub-divisions on the genre metal. Some of these include: doom metal, death metal, black metal, nu metal, thrash metal, metalcore, hardcore, grindcore, hair metal, alternative metal, speed metal, and thats all I can think of for now. Why would we say Nine Inch Nails is industrial when we can call it...ummm...say...gothic sexcore. This way we can only attribute one band to every genre. HOW EFFICIENT! Whatever teenie bop music editor or gay guitar mag monthly column writer coined the term screamo is such a fag. I'm not only dissapointed by our annihilation of the music genre titles but our use of these titles to describe a person. YOU ARE NOT EMO, YOU JUST REALLY LOVE THE FEELING OF PENIS PENETRATING YOU'RE ASS. YOU ARE NOT PUNK, YOU'RE JUST A POSER WHO THINKS THAT BY RIPPING YOUR CLOTHES, WEARING CONVERSE SNEAKERS, AND PUTTING YOUR HAIR IN A MOHAWK YOU WILL BE SEEN AS A REBEL AGAINST SOCIETY. Well, guess what? Our society has developed so that posers who look up to bands like Good Charlotte and Taking Back Sunday are now the majority. You are the boy band groupie equivalent. Thanks for taking a perfectly decent and respectable genre, Punk, and turning it into this decades 98 degrees. And at least Nick LeDouche is banging Jessica Simpson. That dude from Good Charlotte (this applies to them all) gets his pick from any 12 year old in the world. The truth is that as soon as you classify yourself as a music genre you better be prepared to be treated like one. And by the looks of things, it seems as if you're about to be beaten bloody and sliced into a million peices. Next time I here somone say "I'm emo, or I'm punk, or I'm metal, or I'm electronic blues pop" (scratch that last one, anyone who is electronic blues pop is a friend of mine) be prepared for a swift kick in the ass.

Some quick thoughts from a mammal's brain

I was just about to fall asleep when I realized that I hate you. But that doesn't matter because tommorow I might love you or maybe it'll happen a day or a week after that. Nothing in this world is constant. What is here today will truly be gone tommorow. And it is impossible to hold on to anything too good for long so enjoy it while it is there. But the good things wouldn't exist without the bullshit. Yes, all the negative is bullshit. Your bills are the physical manifestations of the government's reaming on your asshole, sliding it and out with every payment (bullshit). Your girlfriend problems are the result of something stupid you said speaking with either your dick or your ego and if it's her fault it's because she is insecure or she's bipolar or she has to drag you down to feel better about herself (either way it's still bullshit). You failed your class because you drank too much (bullshit). Anyway I think you get my point. So if the negative aspects of your life consist primarily of bullshit upon layers of bullshit then isn't there a way to just cut that out? NO. You yourself can cut the bullshit out, but you will never be able to help those around you. They are so caught up in getting ass, and getting paid, and getting even, and getting home, and getting old that your life will never be in balance. This life needs that bit of complete dissaray to work. And, ultimately, that's the beautiful thing about all of our misfortunes. Human's are pack animals. We need each other to survive and continue the species. Over time we apparently evolved to feel empathy. I believe this to be both a positive and negative attribute towards the personality of the common human. On the positive end, when we are empathetic towards someone else we can help them and they don't put a semi-automatic carbine powered rifle to their face and pull the trigger. On the negative end, we tend to be burdened by other people's problems. We can't rest easy if somone we care about is in peril. If we did not fear for the safety of this person, we wouldn't lift a finger to help and our own safety would be assured. But if they die off, our chances for survival are reduced. So there's the bitch. We actually NEED each other. And if there was a solid movement for people to get along and feel for each other enough to stop wasting time worrying over the minor problems we have created for ourselves, the earth might live to see 5 billion years. (Don't right me comments on the innaccuracy of that estimate, you get my point and I don't care how much you learned in Geology) What I'm getting at is that much of your world is an illusion put there by either yourself or some asshole before you who really didn't know what he or she was saying. The sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion created by the world spinning. But its beautiful to watch, isn't it? Apply that theory to everything else and you will have summed up the high's and low's of living on a planet tainted by the human race. We take pleasure in that which isn't real and in things that are fleeting. So forget you're worries, they are just as fake as the night sky. It isn't dark, you just turned your back on the sun.

The Politics of Alcohol

If you were too drunk to remember it didn't happen (unless it was sex, then it happened twice)

If somone tells you to drink something without telling you whats in it, take a second to think about where you are, who your with, and whos driving you home, got that all figured out yet? Now fuckin chug asshole

If you are angry at somone, please don't get drunk around them

You can ALWAYS play one more game of beer pong

Before you make a rule that involves removing clothes in circle of death or asshole, pull yourself together, calculate the male to female ratio, then decide

Liquor before beer you're in the clear
Beer before liquor never been sicker (I had to include this, its essential)

Vomiting is not a bad thing, it means you won't die of alcohol poisoning (unless you keep drinking after you puke)

If you miss the ball drop on New Years because you were drinking, you must make up for it by drinking until the statue of liberty takes her clothes off.

If possible, all urination during a full night of drinking should occur on a track

If a woman says she drinks and doesn't drink beer dump her

If you thought blue balls were bad sober, you can't even imagine the horror of drunken blue balls. (Ladies this one's for you)

Many have scored anal while drunk, just through a simple trajectory miscalculation (I'm just here to report the facts)

Don't leave the party. As soon as you do dozens of strippers will break in and fuck everyone! You don't want that call the next morning "Dude you missed it and it's never gonna happen again!"

Drugs are bad mmkay

I just want to know how it can get to that point. I completely understand trying things for the enjoyement of experiencing new sensations and looking at the world in a different light. (It's not like I haven't done my share of experimentation) What I would like to know is when it does go from fun and adventure to habit and neccesity? Why do some people feel the need to continue while others realize that this is a waste of time, money, and brain cells? I've been around people who have reached the point of habituation and it's one of the most sickening things. To see somone willing to take another hit or pack another bowl and just sit around being dead space for a couple hours is just so depressing to me. You see them staring blankly and not showing any real emotions and wonder, are they really enjoying this on the inside? From experience and the testimony of others the answer is no. But I guess you know you have a problem when that doesn't matter to you anymore. They achieve nothing more than an overbearing appetite and even that can only go so far before you feel sick. I've had friends who realized that drugs weren't actually doing anything for them anymore and have cut back severely. I really respect that and hope they stick to their guns and remember what they said to me (No one needs sloppy brains). I even know somone who found that he got the same high from self-reflection and reading about zen. Don't go telling people that Dan is a friggin Buddhist but I agree with some of that "life is emptiness and forever changing" stuff. I just find it offensive when somone cares enough to say "Stop doing this to yourself" and all they get back is a dumb look and the phrase "whatever". You really hurt me and I've seen you hurt others who actually care. There is only so much one person can say to another. I guess you'll have to wait for nature to take its course, because one day this will all catch up and maybe then you'll be ready to deal with the shit you put yourself and everyone else through. Sorry to be so serious, but this is what's been on my mind and writing this really made me feel better. Turn off your television and go read something.

Im a huge poser!

Yeah that's right I said it! I got the idea to start this thing because my friend, (who shall remain anonymous until he tells me I can publish his name)...uh I'll call him
"t|-|3 l33t H4X0r" for now, started a blog. And since I've had the wonderful opportunity to enjoy the online journals and blogs and websites and message board posts and friggin email updates and post-its and whatever the hell else people do to vent in their AIM profies, I decided it's my turn. Yes now I can join the realm of those who stay up late and use codenames to secretly infer their feelings about the people who have touched my life in so many ways, for better or for worse. I'll share with you my hopes, my dreams, my deepest darkest secrets, and my S-E-X-U-A-L FETISHES...damn it why is there no emoticon for licking your own nipple. I encourage you all to make use of the edit tab at the top of your internet browser. Search for your name...I DARE YOU. But remember, what you find may not be what you were expecting. The truth may drive a cold stake into the hearts of the weak and render your phony life into nothing short of a pitiful plea for salvation, FOR THE WORD OF DANIEL COHEN HAS SHED LIGHT UPON YOUR WICKED LIFE AND YOU WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM TO REPAY YOUR SINFUL DEBT! But most likely I'll write about things I find interesting and probably spend a lot of time promoting the things that rock ::cough:: Tool ::cough:: So If you wanna check in every now and then that's cool with me. If not, then FUCK YOU!