Friday, August 20, 2004

A serpent is more powerful than it's venom

Is it possible for this place to be anything more than a collaberation of thoughts? A person's physical strength can only go as far as his muscle's stretch, and that is a limitation I'm not willing to accept. I think people forget that there is more to strength than your heaviest press. The physical embodiment of somone's power fails in comparison with one's ability to emotionally control another. There isn't a single person (Excluding those Everquest junkies who sit in their basement eating dominoes and drinking mountain dew until their level 68 sorcerer learns lvl 10 magic missle. His character is inevitably stolen by some other worthless hacker dork, and our D&D loving friend puts a gun to his face and sacrifices his life to the programmers and graphical engineers at Sony Online Entertainment) who can say that they were never controlled by somone close to them. It's proof that every human is an innate gambler. When we build relationships with people we put certain aspects of ourself on the line. We depend on others for fullfillment of the most basic human drives: love and acceptance. If the ones we love dissapoint us, it refelcts our emotional ante. Can we love another without without fastening our own noose? We struggle as long as possible to keep the foundation sturdy, but even the slightest moment of dishonesty can send that foundation crashing hard. Starting from the top vertebrae, each bone is set out of alignment until you can't move and the rope tugs so hard against your throat that the skin burns from contact. It wouldn't burn so much if you would just stop struggling and let the inevitable sink in as you whither your emotional past away. What my damage could have been. It happens again and again, from day to day, because you are only as strong as your emotional bond with the one you love. And now that love has crashed in flames and you are the epicenter of an unquenchable blaze. No matter how devastating, it will happen again. Maybe one more pull on that slot machine will bring you to pride and fortune. And I can't just sacrifice all we have had for this petty cycle. If I did then there would be nothing left. No storm, no tears, and this reptile, considerately feeding off of my lies. This pain would slip away if I can just let you learn your own lessons, but our relationship was too profound. Your burden has become mine. And I hate you for this. LISTEN TO TOOL

I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me -
"H." Aenima

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