Only now remains

Travelling down the same road I've been down a couple times before, I take a step back and try to figure out what went wrong. That's the beautiful thing about life and its synchrony, you're always put in a position to make the right decision. And if you make the wrong decision, fuck it, that's how you learn. The notion of karma is magnificent. It takes the mystery of this unquenchable human thirst for knowledge and gives it a home. It ties the events of your life together in a systematic way, and I couldn't ask for anything more. I appreciate each opportunity to be here and I really appreciate each piece of the world I get to see. It's here for me to decipher, and I can do what I want with all the time I have. Infinite space and time to construct something bigger, better, faster...something worth my deepest most sincere effort. And then I can destroy it and start again. Searching for meaning when there is no meaning, it's easy to get distracted in the society we've built. We give in to television and the media too easily. They take liberties with our mind that we shouldn't be forced to overlook. Why should I be forced to care about which celebrity is getting married to which actor, or which one is getting plastic surgery? In that medium, it's all plastic. Plastic people creating merchandise and movies for dates and people who eat popcorn. Millions are spent on digital effects for cliched action suspene thriller starring Vin Diesel while hunderds of thousands of people are dying in the 11 countries around the Indian Ocean hit hardest by the tsunami. I'd like to think karma came through for us in that one too. It's a terrible tragedy, but it's nature. We need to be reminded that we are not invincible, but 150,000 bodies seems a bit exssesive. We get the point god...or at least, I feel like I do. I'm sorry there's suffering in your life right now, or maybe it's just depression. Depression is a form of suffering but it doesn't seem nearly as severe. I also want to apologize for another disgusting act we all engage in. Whenever you muster up the courage to let somone know you feel depressed, they will try empathy as a diversionary tactic to your pain. Any decent person will tell you that they've been there and they know how you feel, because that's what you gotta say to somone who's depressed. How can anyone know how you feel? Thats such a ridiculous notion, and it makes me want to stop writing this right now. But you can't stop the spiraling thoughts, and niether can I. No one knows your pain...no one. We all live different lives, and we all participate in each others lives. Participant being the key word there. You are the star of your own show, and everyone else...they are just supporting roles. My dad used to ask me and my brother when we were children, "Is this the Daniel show starring Brian or the Brian show starring Daniel?" I never answered you because I thought you were a lunatic. But If I had to answer, I'd say it's both. To each his own. I slip in and out of comas all the time. This morning I seize my mind, use my power, focus my energy...feel life in my veins. I feel life all around me, and sense balance. I am the ZEN MASTER.